Blame it on the Alcohol
by Night Yagami
Summary: Jiraiya catches Orochimaru doing something rather unexpected, triggering a chain reaction of crazy new discoveries. Yaoi, OOC


A/N: dedicated to The Archetype, my fabulous beta (though she's not one of oro-chan's fans, haha...). i know there are already a lot of fics like this out there but i thought i'd throw my two cents into the JiraOro shipping fountain. Enjoy!

xXx

Jiraiya flung the door to his teammate's room open, shouting gleefully. "Hey Orochimaru, guess what I—"

His mouth fell open and all thoughts of what he was going to say escaped him in an instant at the sight that greeted him. Orochimaru, genius of Team Hiruzen and first-rate smug bastard, was lying naked and panting on his bed with a white hand around his fully erect cock.

For both the longest and shortest second of his life, Jiraiya took in Orochimaru's flushed face and stunned expression (along with an eyeful of the rest of him) before the pale boy was shouting angrily.

"Get the fuck out, haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Orochimaru shrieked, scrambling into a sitting position and trying awkwardly to hide himself with his hands. "Idiot!"

Without saying anything Jiraiya slammed the door shut and fled for his life—he did not want to be anywhere in the vicinity when his friend got his pants on and his fists up.

"Well that was...interesting," he muttered to himself when he was a safe distance away. He supposed he should have been disgusted but he was still reeling from the shock of it all. It hadn't been the first time he'd seen Orochimaru naked—Jiraiya had dragged him to too many hot springs on research trips—but he hadn't thought that the serpentine boy had any sexual drive whatsoever. He'd always seemed thoroughly unimpressed with the babes at the hot springs or in the magazines Jiraiya was so kind to show him.

Maybe Jiraiya had imagined the whole thing. Or come to some sort of wrong conclusion (though how you could mistake something like _that_ was a little hard for him to comprehend).

In any case he decided to erase the incident from his memory, just forget anything ever happened. Obviously Orochimaru wouldn't tell anyone and would probably just pretend nothing was different, and Jiraiya was willing to follow his teammate's lead.

"OK, next time I see him, I'm not gonna say anything," he decided.

xXx

"So you seemed to be enjoying yourself last night," Jiraiya said to Orochimaru as they waited for Tsunade and Hiruzen-sensei to arrive at the meeting place. He cringed mentally. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ He just couldn't keep his fat mouth shut, could he?

Orochimaru covered his face with his hands. "I can't believe you actually just brought that up, you incredible idiot."

Neither could Jiraiya, but now that he'd started, he couldn't seem to stop. Especially since Orochimaru wasn't beating him to a pulp...yet. "So who were you thinking about?" he asked, bluntly but genuinely curious.

"It's none of your fucking business, scumbag."

"Was it Tsunade? Or that redhead we saw at the hot spring the other day. She was sexy."

"No! Get off my back!"

"C'mon, you can tell me."

"I don't believe this," Orochimaru said faintly, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. "I don't fucking believe this. I'm dreaming. I'm still asleep. This isn't happening."

"Tell meeee," Jiraiya pleaded. Now he was burning to know. This was perhaps the greatest mystery of his life—what had gotten the impossibly composed Orochimaru so hot and bothered that he had to jack off? "I won't tell anyone, I promise... Teammate to teammate?"

"No."

"Pleeeeease... See, I'm begging you!"

But Orochimaru pressed his lips together and refused to speak at all until their teacher and Tsunade arrived.

The pale boy was frigid to Jiraiya for the rest of the day, speaking to him only when the mission required, and avoiding his gaze altogether. Somehow Jiraiya was able to keep his mouth shut about the whole affair in front of Tsunade and Hiruzen-sensei, but it was a close thing. He was just so damn curious; the whole situation was still kinda surreal and he was burning to ask the serpentine boy about it again.

But when Orochimaru had finished his part of the mission, he disappeared immediately. Jiraiya wanted to look for him when he'd completed his own task, but he wasn't suicidal and he was pretty sure that he had pushed his luck with his teammate as far as it would go. At least for now.

So he decided to bother Tsunade about it instead. They finished the mission at about the same time and he started to follow her on her way home.

"I'm not going to go out with you, so don't even bother to ask," she said in a bored tone without as much as a glance at Jiraiya.

"Hey...what does Orochimaru like?" he asked, ignoring her statement.

She looked at him oddly. "Snakes. Duh."

Jiraiya threw up his hands. "I know that! I mean, what kind of girl does he like? I just can't figure it out."

Tsunade's expression grew more serious and she broke eye contact. "I don't think he likes girls," she said quietly.

"That's what I thought, because he's never interested in anything I show him, but now I really think he's gotta have a type," he replied, trying his hardest not to tell her the reason why he'd changed his mind.

She shook her head. "No, dumbass, you don't get it. He doesn't like girls. He likes boys..." She blushed and looked at ground.

"_Boys_?" Jiraiya echoed, incredulous.

"He said so himself..." said the blond girl, watching her feet.

"_Boys_?" Jiraiya repeated, still trying to wrap his head around the concept.

"You can't tell him I said anything. I'll kill you," threatened Tsunade, raising a fist.

It took him a minute, but Jiraiya finally thought he got it—Orochimaru liked boys, not girls. What? How did that even begin to be possible?

"...I won't tell him you told me," he reassured Tsunade, before he took off towards Orochimaru's apartment.

"Don't even say _anything_ to him!" she yelled after him, tone exasperated. "Forget I said _anything_!"

"No can do," Jiraiya muttered under his breath. Now that he knew—or at least, now that there was even the possibility that what he'd learned could be true—he was gonna at least talk to his friend about it. Forget the fact that Jiraiya was probably gonna get his ass thoroughly kicked if he pushed his luck much more that day.

xXx

He didn't even bother trying the door—he knew Orochimaru would just pretend not to be home—and instead opted on entering through an open window. Not the bedroom window though, just in case his friend needed _that kind_ of privacy again.

His caution was apparently unneeded, as Orochimaru was washing his dinner dishes in the sink, highlighted by the orange light from the setting sun. The serpentine boy whirled around, expression darkening, at the sound of Jiraiya hopping over the windowsill.

"Get out," demanded the pale boy, pointing a soapy knife in Jiraiya's direction. "I'll fucking kill you."

"Is it true you like guys?" Jiraiya blurted out. Damn. He'd meant to be more tactful.

Orochimaru blinked like he hadn't been expecting that question, and the knife lowered a little. "Who told you that?" he asked, voice more surprised than angry.

"Um... I figured it out myself," Jiraiya claimed lamely.

"Liar," Orochimaru snorted. "Tsunade said something, didn't she?"

"It doesn't matter where I heard it," said Jiraiya impatiently. "So it's true?"

His teammate sighed and turned back to the sink. "I can't believe I'm actually having this fucking conversation with you." A few seconds of silence, Jiraiya waiting with bated breath. "Yes, it's true."

"Whaaat. But that doesn't make any sense," Jiraiya exhaled, sitting down in a chair and putting his feet up on the kitchen table. "The whole gay thing in general never made any sense to me. Why would a guy like another guy?"

"Why indeed," Orochimaru mused cryptically, glancing back. "Get your filthy feet off the table."

Jiraiya complied, opting instead to prop his elbows on the wooden surface. He watched his teammate scrubbing steadily at the dishes, sleeves rolled up to the elbow and tendrils of inky hair falling in his face.

"You didn't answer my question," Jiraiya prompted. "Why don't you like girls?"

Orochimaru stopped scrubbing as he tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling, sighing. "I don't know. I've just never liked them," he said with slight exasperation. "I can't help what I like and I want you to leave me the fuck alone about it."

"No, I'm not gonna leave you alone about it," Jiraiya replied firmly. "You're my friend and I want to understand."

For a moment, Orochimaru got quiet and still and vulnerable-looking. Jiraiya took the opening to ask another question.

"So have you ever kissed a guy or what?"

Orochimaru looked for a second like he really was going to kick Jiraiya out, but then he reluctantly nodded his head. "Yes... once or twice..." He hid his face with his long hair and resumed washing the dishes intently. Internally Jiraiya cheered; it looked like he was gonna get Orochimaru to open up a little for once.

"So how did you figure out he was gay in the first place? Do you have a secret code so you can tell?"

Orochimaru snorted. "Hardly. We met at a club for...you know, for people like me."

"There's a _club_?" Jiraiya asked, eyes bugging out a little.

"Yes."

"Here in Konoha?"

"Yes," repeated Orochimaru, rolling his eyes visibly. "It's right near the normal clubs."

"Let's go!"

The pale boy looked at Jiraiya incredulously. "What? You of all people want to go to a club for men who don't like women?"

"Yeah! Why not? I want to see what it's like! It'll be a new kind of research trip!" Jiraiya actually was getting psyched to go; it was a whole mysterious world in which he'd never taken part and was now suddenly relevant to his life, now that he knew his teammate's secret.

Said teammate simply shook his head. "You never fail to astound me."

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you very much," Jiraiya sniffed in pretend haughtiness. "So when can we leave?"

"You want to go _tonight_?"

"Of course! When else?"

Orochimaru frowned slightly. "Well... I guess it'll be open by the time I get dressed," he mused aloud. "Speaking of which, you also have to get changed. You're covered in blood."

Jiraiya looked down at his clothes and saw the rather noticeable bloodstain splattered across his shirt. He guessed it had happened when he'd cut the throat of an enemy shinobi, but he'd been too preoccupied to notice.

"Oops," he said. "This was my last clean set. Hey, can I borrow something of yours?"

"We're completely different sizes, idiot," sighed the pale boy, finishing up the dishes and wiping his hands on a clean towel. "But I might have a free-size kimono. Get in the shower and I'll look for it."

"Yay," Jiraiya cheered, quietly but genuinely happy. Before he skipped off to the bathroom he caught Orochimaru trying to hide a small smile.

xXx

When Jiraiya got out of the shower with a large fluffy towel wrapped securely around his waist, Orochimaru was waiting with a stylish kimono laid out on the bed.

"It's out of season," he said critically, referring to the maple leaf pattern, "but it'll fit. And it's not like you're actually trying to attract anyone anyway."

"You don't think anyone will be taken with my dashing good looks?" Jiraiya replied, striking a macho pose.

"We'll see. Leave the bedroom when you've dressed; I don't want you in here while I get ready." With that Orochimaru retreated into the bathroom. Jiraiya shrugged at his teammate's typical standoffishness and pulled on the red-and-gold kimono, which was a little tight across the shoulders but otherwise fit pretty well.

When he was satisfied with his appearance, he moved to the living area and reclined on the couch, listening to the evening cicadas and watching the curtains move in the warm breeze.

He'd been spacing out for nearly 40 minutes and the sun had almost fully set by the time Orochimaru finally opened the bedroom door.

"It's about time," Jiraiya yawned, sitting up and looking over at the pale boy.

His jaw nearly dropped; there was no way to get around how sexy his teammate looked, clad in a sleeveless silver shirt that clung to every contour of lean muscle. A thin sliver of midriff was visible above the low waist of his skin-tight leather pants—and god, those _pants_! Sinful, that's what they were.

"Stop staring," scolded Orochimaru, folding his arms self-consciously.

"I can't help it!" Jiraiya cried, honestly trying to unglue his eyes. "You just look so..."

_Fuckable,_ supplied his brain.

_I did not just think that,_ he told himself.

Somehow he tore his eyes away from his teammate's (_unbelievable_) body and opted for looking at his face instead. Jiraiya was relieved to note that it was pretty much the same as usual...except that he was rather uncharacteristically blushing.

_That's cute,_ his brain said. _He's cute._

_Still not thinking that_, Jiraiya insisted to himself.

"...So let's go," he said aloud.

Orochimaru nodded, still blushing, and they left the apartment.

As Orochimaru turned back to lock the door, Jiraiya caught sight of his ass— and it was actually insulting how perfect it was. It was the kind of ass you write poetry to, and covered in leather to boot; all Jiraiya wanted to do was grab it and squeeze it...

...In a completely heterosexual way, of course. Yes. Nothing remotely suspect about that.

Orochimaru faced him again and Jiraiya knew he'd been caught checking him out; his friend's face was turning bright red and he braced himself for the inevitable tirade and maybe a few punches.

But Orochimaru simply told Jiraiya to follow him, without screaming or anything. Jiraiya thanked the gods for his luck, and let Orochimaru walk a half-step ahead of him, on the pretense of letting him lead but really using the opportunity to watch the way the leather clung to that magnificent ass. If Orochimaru noticed, he still wasn't saying anything, for which Jiraiya was grateful because he really wasn't sure what was going on in his head and didn't think he could handle an inquiry into his behavior.

Other than the slightly awkward silence between them, the walk was actually quite pleasant; the air was on the comfortable side of warm, and scores of fireflies twinkled in the bushes and trees. Jiraiya admired the sparkling display whenever he was able to look away from the hips swaying before him—which was admittedly not very often.

They stopped in front of an alleyway that Jiraiya had never noticed before, though he'd been in this district many times. As Orochimaru turned to face him, Jiraiya gave his best impression of someone who hadn't been ogling his best friend's ass for the better part of ten minutes.

"In the unlikely event that someone tries to hit on you..."

"I'm hurt, Orochimaru. You don't think anyone will like me?"

"Well I'm saying, if someone does—and I'm assuming you're not going to like them back—just lie and say you're with me."

"But I am with you."

"Fuck," said Orochimaru, looking miserable. "Not like that, Jiraiya, I meant _with_ me."

"Ohhh."

"Look, maybe this was a bad idea, let's just go home—"

"No way! C'mon, I'll behave, I promise!" Jiraiya pleaded.

Orochimaru pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Fine. But we're leaving the minute you embarrass either of us."

Jiraiya nodded seriously and followed his teammate down the alleyway, past a stoic-looking bouncer, and through a rather nondescript door.

Inside it looked like a normal bar, maybe a little cleaner than Jiraiya had come to expect, but not by a lot and otherwise pretty average. Though it was relatively early in the night, there were actually a lot of people there already, sitting at tables and at the bar or dancing to the upbeat music.

Jiraiya and his teammate sat down at the bar and ordered drinks. The bartender looked at the pair of them playfully.

"Who's your handsome friend, Oro-chan?" he asked. Evidently Orochimaru came here a lot.

"See, Orochimaru, he thinks I'm handsome," Jiraiya pointed out triumphantly.

"I never said you weren't," the pale boy insisted (which for some odd reason caused Jiraiya's heart to beat a little harder for a second). "He's a friend," he told the bartender, who smiled knowingly.

"Well you boys have fun," he said, waggling his fingers before leaving to take someone else's order.

"Did he call you Oro-chan?" Jiraiya snickered.

"Shut up."

Pleased to discover this new nickname, Jiraiya was still giggling to himself as he started to look around, curious about his new surroundings. Though the bar itself was fairly normal, the people there were unusual—all men, most of them dressed as impeccably as celebrities, and treating each other like women. Well, that wasn't really it—they were treating each other as "potential partners" rather than "dudes to get drunk with," the way men did at normal bars. It was fascinating. Jiraiya tried not to stare when he noticed two of them kissing in a dark corner.

A surprising number of the patrons were looking at Orochimaru with obvious interest. Jiraiya realized he couldn't blame them—just look at that _ass_—but it was really weird and disconcerting and made him kind of want to punch them all for looking.

One of them had obviously worked up the courage to approach because next thing Jiraiya knew, someone was sitting next to his teammate and offering to buy him a drink.

Jiraiya caught Orochimaru giving the (admittedly OK-looking) guy a once-over before accepting, and soon they were talking and laughing about some obscure radio talk show. He could hardly believe his ears—Orochimaru laughing was strange enough, but to top it off he was talking in this incredibly sexy voice, confident and smooth and seductive. Jiraiya was sure he could talk the pants off anything he wanted with that voice—hell, with the way things were going, he was gonna end up talking the pants off _Jiraiya_ without even _meaning _to...

_No, no, no, no, nononono I am still not thinking that,_ Jiraiya reminded himself, and he took a gulp of alcohol to distract his brain from thinking so inappropriately about his very _male_ best friend. He went back to people-watching and tried to ignore how sexy Orochimaru's laugh was.

When he was on his third drink and trying to see if he recognized anyone (he had a horrible head for faces and it wasn't going too well), a hand tapped his shoulder. Jiraiya turned around and was surprised to see a young man watching him with a flirty smile.

"Mind if I sit here?" asked the man hopefully, indicating the empty seat next to him.

Jiraiya was able to interpret this situation. It didn't make it any less awkward.

"Um... yeah... I mean sure, but I'm, um, kinda here with someone..."

The man's smile fell a little but he took the seat anyway and ordered some flowery-sounding drink that Jiraiya'd never heard of. "Too bad for me," he sighed. "You're just my type. So who's my competition, if you don't mind me asking?"

Jiraiya indicated Orochimaru, who was still chatting animatedly with the guy from earlier in a way that suggested that _he_ wasn't currently with anyone and that he was actively trying to change that. Jiraiya supposed that could be true, but... dammit, would it hurt him to _pretend_ to be a couple?

Miraculously the new guy seemed to buy it, for his look was sympathetic rather than skeptical. He leaned in to whisper conspiratorially.

"I guess I don't stand a chance; he's way out of my league. But he looks like the kind you have to keep on a leash... I'd keep a close eye on him if I were you." With that he paid for his violently purple beverage and left, presumably to scout for more willing drinking partners.

As the night wore on Jiraiya came to realize that he wasn't having fun, which was pretty much unprecedented for him whenever alcohol was involved. A few more guys came up to him, but they too lost any interest in conversation when Jiraiya said he was with Orochimaru.

Speaking of the snaky bastard, he seemed to be having a grand old time, but was making absolutely no effort to include Jiraiya in his conversation. It was downright offensive—but then, Jiraiya supposed he had pretty much forced Orochimaru into taking him to the bar in the first place...

Finally the serpentine boy turned around to face Jiraiya, whose heart leapt a little—maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was a sign of how alone he had been feeling, but his friend's face was suddenly the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. So beautiful, in fact, that he was too busy admiring its comeliness and completely missed what Orochimaru was saying.

"What?" Jiraiya asked stupidly.

"I'm going to dance. Behave yourself," his teammate said, and left for the dance floor with that asshole he'd been talking to.

Now that was just unfair, Jiraiya thought. Orochimaru was supposed to be his date. And now he was supposed to watch some stranger get all up-and-personal with him? _Unfair, unfair, unfair..._

Jiraiya seethed as the guy whispered something in Orochimaru's ear.

He growled a little when the guy started grinding up against his friend to the beat of the music.

And he stood up in a rage-filled haze when the son-of-a-bitch grabbed that leather-coated ass and squeezed. That was _Jiraiya's_ property, he'd been fantasizing about it all night, and he didn't even care how distinctly not-heterosexual that sounded in his head.

He stormed onto the dance floor and caught his friend's arm. "We're leaving, now," he said in a low, fierce voice. Despite the loud protests of his dancing partner, Orochimaru actually listened, and they paid their bill before sweeping out the door and setting off for Orochimaru's apartment at a rapid pace.

"What's gotten into you?" asked the pale boy, voice caught between befuddlement and annoyance.

Jiraiya was silent. What had gotten into him? Was he turning gay? He thought of a buxom blond he had been looking at in a magazine the other day, and felt a familiar tingle of arousal. Encouraged, he pictured the first guy who had been hitting on him, naked and in his bed. The arousal went away pretty quickly and he shuddered a little at the mental image. So, not gay?

Then he happened to remember the scene he'd walked in on yesterday (had it only been yesterday?); Orochimaru's long white limbs spread out on the bed as he pumped himself to completion with a delicious flush on his face...

And Jiraiya actually started getting hard. He had to picture Hiruzen-sensei naked (his secret never-fail weapon against awkward boners).

"Jiraiya, seriously, what's gotten into you?" Orochimaru repeated, annoyance beginning to slide towards concern as he tugged on Jiraiya's kimono sleeve.

"Hey," Jiraiya said suddenly, looking his friend in the eye. "When we get back, I want you to kiss me."

Shock, confusion, and a little bit of pain mixed with something else played across Orochimaru's face at Jiraiya's request. The pale boy lowered his eyes.

"Why?" he asked, without anger or skepticism, which Jiraiya took as a good sign.

"I'm curious," he stated simply. "About what kissing a guy is like." That was only partly true. He had no desire to kiss any male other than Orochimaru—but he desired that particular kiss with an odd intensity.

His teammate looked up again. "All right," he said, expression unreadable. Jiraiya was surprised—he hadn't thought that would work. But then again, they were both more than a little drunk at this point, and alcohol had always made Orochimaru seem more like a real person and less like he had a massive stick up his ass.

...And now he was thinking about Orochimaru's ass again. Brilliant.

Jiraiya gave up trying to fight his brain and started a fierce battle with his body, which was beginning to betray his state rather visibly.

By the time they had reached Orochimaru's apartment, Jiraiya had had to use the Naked-Hiruzen-Sensei charm again three times, which he usually didn't like to use that often in order to keep it effective. At this rate it would be useless in less than an hour...

They entered; Orochimaru closed the door, and after a jerky split-second pause, slid the bolt home. He turned around slowly, one hand resting on the door, and fixed his slanted golden eyes on Jiraiya, who felt a thrill of anticipation and fidgeted with his sleeve a little.

"So... so how do you want...?" started the pale boy, trailing off awkwardly.

"Standing is fine," said Jiraiya, and Orochimaru nodded and moved closer.

They were face-to-face now, about a foot apart, and instinctively Jiraiya put his hands on Orochimaru's narrow waist. The serpentine boy flushed and hesitantly followed suit, taking hold of Jiraiya's shoulders. They stood like that for a moment, not really looking at each other, their erratic breath filling the silence, before Jiraiya cupped his teammate's face in one hand and leaned in for the kiss.

Just before their lips met Jiraiya nearly backed out; this was just too weird, there was no way it wouldn't be awkward and clumsy from lack of experience, and the fact that they were both guys kept popping into his mind.

But Orochimaru lunged forward a little faster than he had expected and they were kissing, he was kissing his best friend and it was amazing and perfect and _right_. Orochimaru's lips were so soft, so pliant against his own, yet taking dominance in a subtle way that was so like him.

Jiraiya closed his eyes and pulled Orochimaru a little closer, twining the fingers of one hand into his beautiful black hair. Both of Orochimaru's hands moved to do the same, guiding Jiraiya's head into a more accessible position.

Jiraiya didn't know who started it but soon they were deepening the kiss, and the hand that wasn't tangled in his teammate's hair slid further and further down until he was finally—finally!—touching that gorgeous ass, and it felt as good as it looked, maybe even better. Orochimaru moaned softly into the kiss; emboldened, Jiraiya ran his hands over the leather, massaging lightly.

With that, his teammate brought their lower halves together, filling Jiraiya with the electricity of desire and letting him feel Orochimaru's body respond too. It was Jiraiya's turn to moan; his nerves were on fire and he couldn't think through the alcohol; he ground his hips against his teammate, eliciting a gasp and a very definite physical reaction...

"F-fuck," Orochimaru stammered, breaking the kiss and stepping back quickly, breath labored. "I'm... I... look, I didn't mean to..."

Jiraiya touched his own lips, a little dazed. "What?" he asked, genuinely confused as to why the nice kissing and touching had stopped.

"We've both had drinks, I got carried away, you don't really want any of this, you should really just go..." Orochimaru babbled, looking quite miserable.

Jiraiya laughed, thinking it was a joke, but he quickly stopped when his teammate didn't laugh along.

"Seriously?" he asked, and he frowned when his friend nodded. "But... we're both hard now..."

Orochimaru blushed a little. "Yes, well-spotted," he said scathingly, but the flush of his cheeks took all the real venom from his words. "What of it?"

"Well..." Jiraiya started, feeling his own blush starting to creep up his neck. "I don't really wanna stop." Orochimaru gaped at him and he backpedaled furiously. "I mean we can stop if you want but I thought I'd just say, you know, I was enjoying it, and if you want to keep going I'm game..."

For a few seconds Orochimaru seemed to hesitate, but suddenly he grabbed Jiraiya's hand and pulled him in for another heated kiss.

"Just let me know when you want to stop," the serpentine boy breathed against the corner of Jiraiya's mouth. Their hips came in contact again for a second and the feeling of Orochimaru's clothed erection against his sent a thrill through Jiraiya.

Orochimaru started kissing down Jiraiya's neck, nipping in places that made him gasp, and parted the front of his maple-leaf kimono with deft fingers. Jiraiya figured that was a go-ahead kind of signal and he slipped his hands under the silky gray fabric of his teammate's shirt, stroking the skin of his abdomen with searching touches and making his friend's breath flutter a little.

"Your skin is so soft," Jiraiya commented absentmindedly as Orochimaru slid the kimono off his shoulders. The obi around his waist kept it from falling to the floor, so Jiraiya was still half-covered, but he felt naked when Orochimaru pulled back to gaze at his torso. "What are you looking at?"

Orochimaru just smiled mysteriously and kissed him again, trailing slender fingers over the muscles of Jiraiya's chest.

Tentatively Jiraiya pushed up on the hem of his teammate's shirt, and Orochimaru reached his arms skyward to allow the garment to be removed. Jiraiya watched breathlessly as more and more snowy skin was revealed until finally he'd gotten the shirt off and he could fully see the snake summoner's upper body, as white and untainted as new canvas and just as tempting to mark.

It was strange, Jiraiya thought as he let his hands roam over the smooth planes. Strange that after years of seeing his friend naked at bathhouses or when changing together, he was only now realizing how beautiful his body really was.

Orochimaru had closed his eyes, looking blissful, but he opened them again after a moment.

"Bedroom?" he breathed seductively.

Jiraiya felt his whole body throb at that one word. "Y-yeah," he replied, letting his teammate lead him by the hands to the modestly sized but impeccably clean room.

Pushing Jiraiya down onto the bed, Orochimaru straddled him and began to untie the knot in his obi.

"Wait," Jiraiya said, and his friend's fingers stilled.

"...Too much?" Orochimaru asked resignedly.

"No."

The pale boy looked at him in puzzlement. "Then what?"

"I wanna watch you take your pants off..."

"...You mean, like..."

Jiraiya felt his face redden. "A st-striptease. Only if you want..."

Orochimaru regarded him strangely for a second, but then he smirked a little. "All right then." He stood, and Jiraiya propped himself up on his elbows, eager to watch the show.

Hesitantly Orochimaru ran his hands over his torso, obviously unused to doing anything like this. And though Jiraiya'd seen plenty of stripteases by sneaking into sleazy nightclubs over the years, he was completely bewitched by his teammate's movements. Those girls on stage were more practiced and had rockin' bods, but there was nothing clumsy or embarrassing in Orochimaru's improvisation—and his body wasn't anything to scoff at, either.

"I don't know what I'm doing," confessed the pale boy, mussing his hair sexily with one hand and fingering his zipper with the other. "I think I'm still drunk..."

"You're doing fantastic, trust me," Jiraiya reassured his teammate.

Orochimaru unbuttoned and unzipped his pants slowly, taking his time and making Jiraiya nearly salivate with anticipation. Very deliberately he shimmied the leather down his legs, revealing milky white thighs and a pair of black underwear that was doing almost nothing towards hiding his prominent erection.

"Holy shit... you're too good at this..." Jiraiya panted, sitting up fully to take in the scene. His cock ached.

"What now?" Orochimaru asked with a low moan, fingering the tip of his still barely-covered arousal.

"Whatever...whatever you want," Jiraiya ground out, too focused on the erotic look on his teammate's face to think about what to do next.

Luckily Orochimaru seemed to have a plan, because next thing Jiraiya knew, the pale boy had undone his obi and pulled off both the kimono and boxers in one swift tug, and was wantonly pressing his nearly naked form to Jiraiya's.

"You take them off," the serpentine boy whispered, guiding one of Jiraiya's hands to the tented fabric of his underwear.

Licking his lips, Jiraiya complied, hooking his thumbs in the waistband and pulling down until they were off and he was looking at Orochimaru's hardened cock for the second time in as many days. He abandoned his task of removing the underwear and reached out to touch his teammate, wrapping his fingers around the shaft loosely and stroking the heated flesh. Orochimaru moaned softly, pressing his head to Jiraiya's shoulder. Encouraged, Jiraiya increased the intensity of his movements until his teammate pulled away.

"Stop, you're going to make me come," Orochimaru gasped. Jiraiya had thought that was rather the point of the whole exercise but he didn't complain; he was now afforded a rather spectacular view of his teammate's front and was too busy admiring the sinewy lines of lean muscle to raise a fuss.

"D-do you want more?" Orochimaru teased breathily, a sinful blush high on his cheeks as he trailed white fingers up his equally white inner thigh, stopping just short of his straining erection.

"Hell yeah," Jiraiya rasped. Of course he wanted more. He didn't think he'd ever be able to get enough.

"Hold on..." his friend replied, standing and letting his now-useless underwear slide down his legs to the floor. He retrieved a bottle from the drawer in his bedside table before returning to the bed, sprawling on his back over the sheets.

"What are you doing?" Jiraiya asked as his teammate uncapped the bottle and poured some gelatinous liquid over his long fingers.

"Getting ready for you," Orochimaru replied, voice sultry and eyes heavily lidded.

Jiraiya watched with rapt attention as his teammate pressed a slippery finger inside himself. He would have never thought of doing something like that, but if Orochimaru's expression was anything to go by, he'd been missing out on something incredible.

"Does that... feel good?" Jiraiya asked.

"...Yes," his friend whispered, slipping a second finger in and scissoring it with the other. "But it hurts if you go too fast..."

Jiraiya scooted a little closer so he was between the pale boy's knees. "C-can I...?" he questioned, picking up the bottle and squirting some of the liquid into his hand.

Orochimaru removed his fingers and spread his legs wider. "Go slow..." he reminded quietly, and gasped when Jiraiya rubbed a calloused finger against the sensitive ring of muscle. Copying what his teammate had done before, Jiraiya slipped first one, then two fingers inside the tight, hot passage (he couldn't begin to imagine what that would feel like around his cock) and carefully started to twist and scissor the digits.

"F-fuck," Orochimaru exhaled. "Go deeper, see if you can find it..."

"Find what?" Jiraiya asked, just as his fingers brushed against something and his teammate's body went rigid.

"Ohhhh..." moaned the pale boy.

"Did I find it?" Jiraiya demanded, slowing his movements.

"Y-yeah... now t-try three fingers..." Orochimaru was clenching and unclenching his fists in the sheets.

"Three?" Apprehensive, Jiraiya complied, pressing a third finger in alongside the first two. It was a tight fit, but before long he was sliding all three in and out easily. His teammate seemed to have dissolved into a panting mess, but was somehow able to pull himself together.

"Tha-that's enough," the pale boy gasped out, sitting up and pushing Jiraiya down to lie flat on his back. Threading their fingers together, Orochimaru straddled Jiraiya's waist so that his entrance was rubbing the head of Jiraiya's cock in the most delicious way.

"Ready?" asked the serpentine boy breathlessly.

"Yeah," said Jiraiya, and at the affirmation his teammate sank down, enveloping Jiraiya's throbbing erection with his velvety-slick passage.

It was unlike anything Jiraiya had ever imagined; so hot and so, so tight. He couldn't keep himself from bucking up into Orochimaru, who cried out in pain.

"S-sorry!" Jiraiya apologized, trying to restrain himself. It was damn hard.

His teammate shook his head as if to brush off the pain, then tightened his grip on Jiraiya's hands and raised his body so that only the very tip of Jiraiya's cock remained buried. With a breathy exhalation, the pale boy dropped his hips again, impaling himself rapidly.

Jiraiya's instinct took over at this point, and he freed his hands in order to grasp Orochimaru's tapered waist, slamming up into his teammate's next downward thrust.

The serpentine boy cried out once more, but this time it was in definite pleasure.

"Again," he demanded, bracing his hands against Jiraiya's chest. Jiraiya was happy to comply; he hadn't thought anything could ever feel this good and he was overwhelmed with Orochimaru's presence; his grace and beauty and tight wet heat... His world narrowed to the sensation of driving himself repeatedly upwards into his teammate's body; the sound of sliding skin and harsh panting; the gorgeous contrast of black hair and white skin and glinting golden eyes.

It wasn't long at all before his hips snapped one last time and he came deep inside Orochimaru, his orgasm flooding through him, paralyzing in its intensity. The pale boy followed him quickly over the edge, wordless sounds tumbling from his lips before he slumped forward onto Jiraiya's chest, breathing labored.

They stayed like that for a few moments, Orochimaru's silky hair spread everywhere and sticking to both their sweaty bodies.

"I have to shower," Orochimaru mumbled finally, breaking the spell of silence. "And change the sheets..."

"Do it in the morning," Jiraiya yawned, but his teammate was already fast asleep. He felt a funny little half-smile tug at his face as he brushed long black strands of hair away from their faces, and he let his consciousness slip away.

xXx

Very very slowly, Jiraiya began to regain awareness.

There was something warm against his naked chest, he realized, and vaguely he remembered that he wasn't in his own bed. Also he was pretty sure he'd fucked Orochimaru.

Wait, what?

His eyes flew open and indeed, he was in Orochimaru's room and his teammate was curled on top of him, sleeping soundly.

"Orochimaru," he called out hoarsely.

His friend woke with a jolt, eyes snapping open to stare uncomprehendingly at Jiraiya. Slowly realization dawned on his aristocratic features and he sat up, wincing and pressing a hand to his forehead.

"Motherfucker," he swore. "We went all the way, didn't we."

Jiraiya swallowed. "Yep." He still couldn't think very clearly and he could feel a hangover creeping up on him. His head spun a little when he sat up and swung his legs to the floor.

They sat in extremely tense, awkward silence for a moment before they both started to talk at once.

"We have a mission later; I gotta get moving..."

"Look, let's just talk about this some other time..."

Relieved that Orochimaru didn't want to talk right away, Jiraiya nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. Some other time." He got up, very conscious of his nudity, and dressed quickly in yesterday's bloodstained clothes. Orochimaru didn't move from the bed. "Um, I guess I'll see you at the meeting place," he said, turning to leave.

"Jiraiya..."

He looked back to see Orochimaru watching him with an unreadable expression.

"You...you can blame it on the alcohol," his teammate offered hesitantly. "If you like."

Jiraiya didn't know how to respond, so he just left.

xXx

tbc

xXx

A/N: hmm how is this gonna pan out...? thanks for reading! ^^


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